TIMOTHY GIRAL

ENGLISH 101

                Everyone is searching for someone to love. People believe that there is someone out there for everyone. Now, the thing about that is that there are over eight billion people in this world. So, what happens if the person that is right for you is all the way in Japan and you are here in New York? My answers to that one is stop looking for the perfect match and try to find someone you can grow with and build a type of relationship using “THE SCIENCE OF HAPPINES”. The science of happiness is excluding things that may have a negative impact on your happiness and replacing it with something with a positive impact .By applying the science to a newly established relationship can multiply the positive outcomes of the relationship and make both parties happier people. A couple can have a healthier relationship by avoiding fights. Also growing as a couple and building an unconditional love from both sides of the relationship.

Being happy in life is every ones goal. Achieving happiness on the other hand takes a lot of work. To most people the idea of wanting to have a person to love them is an important  aspect in life. In a relationship there would definitely be problems if you aren’t happy. if you feel that you aren’t happy there is many things that you can do to make it work. The science of happiness consists of many things. Such as hot and cold states. If a person is upset In a relationship is upset and starts an argument and it builds up to a big fight. They must be careful with what they say because they are in a hot sate. Instead of not arguing and then waiting till they cool off and have a normal conversation in a cold state.” It sounds like a goof, but it gets at the fundamental difference between how we behave in a “HOT STATE” (those of anxiety, courage, and fear)and “COLD STATES”OF RATIONAL CALM”(STATED BY LOEWIENSTIEIN in a futile pursuit of happiness.) Unless you have a healthy relationship you will not be able to be happy. So, if you feel  that your relationship isn’t healthy you can cultivate it by using ,most of the approaches given.

Everyone has their flaws. its how you cope with them and if you are willing to adapt to those flaws. Like in my current relationship me and my partner have this type of relationship that we think that each of our flaws are funny to one another. It can get on either one of our nerves but we don’t let it affect us to the point where we aren’t happy with each other. Now the problem that lies in my relationship is that we don’t agree on certain things. Such as who is more mature, who is right, and who is wrong. Ever since I began my journey with Dr. McCormick I have learned how to apply everything I have learned in class to my relationship. In cultivating my relationship I have found that sometimes you must put aside your differences in the relationship. I see my relationship as a story I will be able to tell one day in the future and I know that we are still young. But we also are growing together as friends.” The mistaken notion that finding love guarantees eternal bliss and leads partners to neglect the journey.” (A statement in happiness in a relationship) . I strongly agree with that statement because people just look for what is perfect for them and miss out on the fun quality times in getting to know your partner. Gaining the ability to give and receive unconditional love.

When somebody loves you for who you are and nothing else that is called unconditional love. See this comes rarely almost never honestly speaking. First a person must build up so much love for another person and spend time with them. I feel if you get to the point of unconditional love you have reached the point of your relationship that you can be truly happy in the relationship aspect. Some people believe that it is a myth .” when a man falls in love with a woman, he does so for certain conscious or unconscious reasons.( stated in the unconditional love part of happiness in relationships)” meaning you don’t know that you have that type of love you just do. I feel that if you cultivate and use the method talked in this paper you can achieve happiness in your relationship. You just have to work on it.

By applying the science of happiness to your relationship you can go far in that relationship. By using the scientific method you can increase your happiness. Also by cultivating a relationship  can bring unconditional love.it all takes time and effort. One must be patient and don’t expect it to happen so soon. Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day.

WORK CITED

1 A FUITLE PURSUIT  OF HAPPINESS by DAN GILBERT\

2 HAPPIER IN COURSE PACKET.